A celebratory note
I’m feeling a little bit celebratory because I have just finished writing a book. The publication date is only in August 2026, and there is an editing process to get through. Yet, I am overjoyed because I have written this book.
A doubt about authenticity
As I wrote, I had bouts where I struggled with imposter syndrome. I started casting doubt on everything I had to say. Why would anyone be interested in what I have to say?
Some of the recollections I made in the process of writing, were painful. It took me time to really get in touch with the emotions I felt at the point when those experiences unfolded.
Unprocessed emotions make it difficult to be authentic
Unprocessed emotions cause a lot of damage. They don’t remain hidden very long. They pop up somehow, even when it is something good.
Think of organizing a surprise party for someone. Until the party happens, you are obliged to keep it secret. It can make communication a little challenging. You want to appear ‘normal,’ which is tricky because you don’t want to blurt things out. All this because there is excitement that is being suppressed.
What happens when there are other emotions? When we don’t take the time out to process these feelings, there will be something that suffers in our interaction with the rest of the world. It makes it difficult for us to show up authentically.
An example of losing my voice in grief
My mother’s passing sent me spinning, and it was in this period that everything with work went haywire. I even left the legal profession. I didn’t know how to process my grief.
I wasn’t only dealing with the grief of losing my mum, I was also dealing with the grief of losing myself. I had lost memory. I had also lost interest in many things, including socializing whether with family or friends.
I had so much unprocessed grief that I was simply not showing up at all. There was no design in terms of direction. No trajectory planning. Nothing. My voice was missing.
An example of when I found my voice despite grief
In 2023, I lost my father. As I write this, it is almost two years to the date. This time I knew how to ground myself. I leant into prayer so intentionally. I took other steps too, like joining a grief support group.
What I think has happened is that by contending with the loss of my dad and considering the implications as they are for me, I have been able to be my authentic self.
I’m not done grieving my dad. It is because I am grieving him in a helpful way, I can be who I am meant to be.
What I bring to the table with authenticity
Being in touch with my authentic self means that I am present and I have presence. I am not pretending to live in the world of unicorns and rainbows, although I love this colour theme so very much.
It means that I can speak into situations with clients and other collaborators in a way that makes sense to me. It means I can tell imposter syndrome to shut up and actually write a book in three and a half months.
Celebrating finishing my book
Grounding myself through the process of writing, meant that when I leant into past experiences, even the painful ones, I was able to give voice to what matters to me.
It was this process that made the imposter syndrome lost its grip on me. Every time imposter syndrome put doubts in my mind about who would be interested in what I had to say, I was able to recognize that my learnings and experiences were valid and real. My voice was sound and credible.
I’m planning a small celebration at the end of this month with a few friends. I’m celebrating the finding of my voice. This is just the beginning.
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